Love and Marriage: A Year of Dates- February

As we say hello to March and good bye to February, all I can say is ...good riddance. It was the coldest month we've had historically since the 1800's. And while it was bone chilling cold inside and out (our furnace was out for a few days), we tried to turn up the romance for our date night this month. This month's date night did happen on Valentine's Day and while it was not exactly what I had planned, it was still sweet just the same.

The Plan: A Spa Night for Two
We were supposed to have a nice, relaxing night at home and I was going to put my Esthetician skills to use and break out the chocolate fondue. But, instead we had a romantic candlelight dinner for 4. The kids joined us and were so excited about it that it made me happy to see their glowing eyes. Plus, my hubby had fried up some seafood, I had my glass of wine and was in total relaxation mode.

I didn't take any picks because I was so relaxed I chose to be in my robe all day. I did make a couple of Man Baskets (one for hubby and another one my mom purchased from me).

Since our original date night didn't go exactly as planned, we had an impromptu date the following Friday. It worked out because the kids were out on a too cold to go to school day. We went to dinner and a step show that my church was having for their college weekend. It took me back to when I was that age and it was cool to just do something out of the norm.

Like I said before, having a monthly date night is about having fun and getting out of the day to day rut of family, work, kids, repeat. It keeps the lines of communication open and helps remind you of what attracted you to each other and why you got married in the first place. Don't miss out on the opportunity to enjoy each other's company.

What did you and your mate do for Valentine's Day? Until next time.

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids (and my Husband),
Rhonda

The 21 Day Money Challenge Update

So at the beginning of last month I wrote a post about saving money and I introduced a 21 Day Money Challenge. I had predicted that I would either succeed with flying colors or consider it an epic failure. Well, sometimes it's better for me to just be quite and see how things go because I failed so bad that I need another word for failure.

It's not all my fault though, our furnace went out and after having to buy a couple of heaters, I pretty much forgot that I was supposed to be on a spending diet.

As a reminder, this is what the rules were:

Basically the main rule is- no spending unnecessary money.

1. No shopping (except for groceries) or using your credit card: Like I said, our furnace went out and we had to buy 2 heaters. I guess it could count as a necessity, but the other items I purchased were not.

2. No going to the mall or window shopping: I haven't been to the mall in months, but I do virtual window shop almost everyday. This was particularly dangerous for me one day after a very hectic work day and I saw there was a sale on some Sonya Kashuk brushes I had been eyeballing for a couple months. I high tailed it to Target to find that they were all sold out, but that didn't stop me from spending $20.

3. No restaurant meals: I broke this rule as I figured I would on something to eat in between work and rehearsal. Look, thick girls gotta eat. #sorrynotsorry

4. No buying gifts or gift cards: I had full intentions on abiding by this rule, even through Valentine's Day because my hubby and I were planning our date night in the comfort of our own home. Stay tuned for my next date night post to see the basket I made. 

I will try to do this money challenge again and hope that I'll do better next time. I'll keep you posted.

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. kids,
Rhonda

Love and Marriage: A Year of Dates- January

I had got the idea a couple of years ago from The Dating Divas blog to give to my husband as a gift, a year of dates. I planned out a date for each month, alternating out on the town dates and home dates and even bought gift cards for some of them. I put it in a really cute envelope with a picture of us on it and explained to him that since I had essentially done all the planning, all he had to do was pick the date we would go out and execute.

Well, our year of dates never happened. Why? Let's just say that whole leading the horse to water metaphor is definitely true. So after a couple of years, yes years of sparadic date nights and unfulfilled expectations, I decided to take it in my own hands and make date night happen for real this time.

How am I going to make it happen? By not giving him any other choice. By using the art of persuasion. To be fair I'll only suggest the weekends that he does not have to work. But I will be cute, we will have fun, and we will spend QUALITY time together.

Here's the date card:

So how did we spend January's date night? We kept it simple and started the year off with dinner and a movie.

Where we ate: Ruby Tuesday 

What we saw: The Wedding Ringer

First, let me say that my first pick will always be a comedy or action movie. And this was a great date night movie. In addition to the hilarity that is Kevin Hart, there was an underlining message to the film that should have a lot of couples saying "hmmm" at the end of the night.

Me and my hubby had some good food an some good laughs, so I would rate this date night a total success.

Until February's date night. Hint: we will be celebrating the month of love.

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids (and my husband),

Rhonda

Easy Money Saving Tips and the 21 Day Challenge

I, like most women, have two personalities when it comes to money. On one hand, I can't resist a sale, and use shopping as my stress relief. Then on the other hand, I am a number crunching fool. 

So how do you pay bills, live a good life and find extra to save? Some might say it's simple-stop spending money! Well, for me, it's easier said than done.

In an effort to live this good frugal life, I will give u a short list of things we have done to cut back.

1. Thrift shop- I have been thrifting since before it was socially acceptable. This is my first stop when I need a particular piece to either my or my kids' wardrobe. Anywhere I can ball on a budget is alright with me.
 

2. Couponing- I'm not very successful with clipping coupons on a regular, but when online shopping I always check out couponing sites like retailmenot.com before I make my purchase.

3. Say no to regular groceries stores- I do most of my shopping at Aldi and Sam's Club. I only go to my regular grocery store when I need that specialty item that the other two stores don't offer.

4. Create a budget for everything- And I do mean everything: groceries, bills, date night, gas, clothes, etc. Once you reach the max, your done.
 

5. No emotional shopping. Forget emotional eating, I'm an emotional shopper because nothing makes me feel better than a new dress or pair of shoes when people are getting on my last good nerve.
 

6. Stay off of social media- Facebook and Instagram may be a fun way to pass the time, but please don't let what you see fool your mind. People don't post that they living check to check or they had to borrow money from they mama. What they do post are the clothes, the gourmet dinners and dream vacations. Don't get caught up in the keeping up with the Joneses mentality.
 

7. Talk openly and honestly about what your spending with your mate. I used to be really good about sneaking those shoes in the house that were purchased during my emotional shopping spree. But, when I noticed my husband was doing the same thing, I realized that us keeping these purchases a secret was doing more harm than good.
 

8. Limit your take out. Bring a lunch to work and eat at home. We usually only get take out on the weekend, so that works for us.

 

9.No more gym memberships- I wish I would sign another contract to just give my money away for a year. Gym memberships have not been good for me, just ask my credit report, so I will work out at home or take some classes at the Y or community college.

10. Go on a spending diet/fast. Every now and then I will limit my spending by going on a "no shoes till spring" or "no makeup this month" fast. It's truly a test of wills, but it makes me take a look at my spending habits and put it in check. 

And if you want a real test of your will power, you can take the 21 Day Money Challenge. I went to a financial seminar at my church last week and in addition to other money saving tips like refinancing loans, the presenter suggested this money challenge and it is my spending fast on steroids.

Basically the main rule is- no spending unnecessary money.

Other items not allowed:

-No shopping (except for groceries) or using your credit card.

-No going to the mall or window shopping.

-No restaurant meals.

-No buying gifts or gift cards.

I'm optimistic about this challenge. I do have some pre planned purchases that I'm not counting, but other than that, I think I'll do fine. I'll keep you guys updated and let you know whether it was a success or an epic failure.

Do you have any money saving tips to share? Do you want to join me in the challenge? Please share!

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda

 

The Imperfect Parent

It's official, whatever sense I had left, has decided to leave the building. In my effort to be overly organized and keep the whole house on tract, I confused my kids off days for school. 

I thought they were off today and Monday. Turns out the school is closed Monday and NEXT Friday. Imagine my surprise/embarrassment when the school called to see why neither one of my kids were at school and I didn't report them absent. 

After my "what you talking about Willis" moment, I had to just laugh at myself. I wanted to fuss at my husband for not double checking but that would have been to no avail. I could just see his dear in headlights expression while he tells me, "I just follow your lead."

This just reminded me that no matter how much you plan, sometimes things just go left. So I'm allowing myself to make mistakes, I'll learn from them and move on. Luckly this mistake was to their advantage (and mine since I took the day off to be with them.) 

So what silly mistake have you made as a parent? Let's be imperfect together.

Forever loving my B.A.D.D. Kids,

Rhonda