My daughter said the "S" word and I almost fainted

There I was minding my business when she said it out of the blue: "Mama, you and my daddy have sex." It wasn't even a question. It was a statement, like she knew without a doubt she was telling on me to myself.

It took me a minute to register what she had said but once I did, I was literally lost for words. This girl is 4 years old. In what world is it okay for her to ask me about sex at such a young age? That's it, no more TV!

I had always said that I would talk to my children about sex before they hit puberty so that they wouldn't be out in the world uninformed and experimenting on their own, but today was not supposed to be that day.

So after I asked her where did she hear about that from and hoping with all my soul that she didn't hear us during a "marital encounter", I just explained to her that "that" is something that married people do and she doesn't have to worry about it for a long time. I also explained to her that sex is not something that children talk about.

Yes, it was the cowards way out but I couldn't even think of anything else to say. That should buy me another couple of years, at least until I'm ready to have the real talk.

What do you think, was my approach right or did I miss an important teaching moment? What would you have done?

We need to pray for our children

There are a lot of families in mourning today. As I watched the coverage of the Connecticut school shootings and read the articles over the week-end, I tried to write this post, but the tears took over and I had to take a pause. Unfortunately, mass shootings and crazy people with guns have become the norm with morning news, but this one hit home for me because I am a mother and my heart aches for the children and teachers that were lost during this horrible event. I can not imagine the pain that these parents, teachers and the community as a whole are going through. I pray for them and their strength.

As a Christian I try to find that light in the middle of the darkness, but I find it hard to do when the children lost were innocent bystanders. What light, except for the heroic actions taken by students and staff can be found in this? And now parents have to live without their children and try to explain to those who survived how and why something like this could happen.

So, I used this tragedy as a teaching moment and I told my children the same thing again I told them before and I explained to them that while they are safe, we tell them these things just in case, just like the firefighter came to their school and told them what to do if there is a fire. My son didn't understand why I won't buy him any toy guns or let him play violent video games. I told him that pretending to shoot someone should not be any child's ideal of fun. There are other things to do. I have also told him and his sister that if they ever see a gun or somebody with a gun, go get an adult- do not touch it, don't let anybody else touch it, pick it up or play with it. Get away from it as quickly as possible because guns are dangerous and they hurt people.  I also took the opportunity to re-tell them about strangers and just explain to them that there are some bad people in the world and if somebody ever tried to give them candy or show them a puppy, or touched them in any way while I was not in their sight, they are to scream, kick and fight because no one should be talking to them without my permission. I kept it short and sweet, but it made me realize that this is not just a one time conversation. This is something that kids should be told continuously.

I was at work when the news broke and their was a little girl, probably around 4 or so, and she saw all the commotion on TV and she asked who I can assume was her dad, "What's going on on TV?" And his reply was, "Oh, that's were them kids got killed." After I picked my jaw up off the floor and he was out of earshot, my co-worker and I had some not very nice words to say about him. What an insensitive, shocking and straight up ignorant thing to say to anyone, let alone a little child. I cant believe how immune and de-sensitized some people have become. I can't say that I soak in every bit of bad news I hear, but when it comes to 20 children being killed in this magnitude, I can't help but to open my heart up to that.

There are many conversations being had today about the safety of our kids' schools. I am confident in my children's safety. I would never have them go somewhere where I didn't feel they were safe. Bad things can happen anywhere: schools, movie theatres, churches, and we have to do more than just be cautious and prepared, we have to be prayed up. I pray for my children all the time because they are closer to me than my skin. I don't want to become one of those overprotective, overbearing parents but it's times like these when you don't want to let them out of your sight. I want them to be able to live a normal life without fear, so whenever I can't protect them, I have the up most faith that the Lord will.

Times have definitely changed since I was in school and our children are dealing with so many things we didn't have to deal with. We have to be there for them. talk to them, hug them, tell them we love them. Don't ignore the signs of fear and depression, hoping that they will "grow out of it". We have already seen what denial can do. Let's stop brushing things under the rug and start having those uncomfortable conversations with our children. And after we continue to have those conversations, we have to be sensitive to there needs and above all, never stop praying.

Positively loving my Beautiful And Delightfully Dynamic Kids,
                                                  Rhonda

Just a little advise for when motherhood gets hard

(This is a re-post from Mich Moms blog published 2009.)

Whenever I go to a baby shower, I usually sign the card with something like this: “There is nothing more fulfilling, scary, astonishing and overwhelming than being a mother. Remember to enjoy the good moments but, take the not so good ones in stride.” Lately, I’ve come to realize that it’s important to tell a mother this whether her child is a new born or grown with their own kids. There are a few mothers that I know (and probably some that I don’t know) who need to be uplifted.

I know it’s hard being a mother and being heartbroken over what your child has done. Mothers feel responsible for their children and tend to carry the guilt of their children’s failures on their shoulders. Not only that, but society is quick to fault mothers too. I myself have said that a child had no home training when I saw them being unruly in public.

Carrying all that weight is a heavy burden to bear. Just try to remember that although there will be times that are scary and overwhelming, letting the good outweigh the bad is what will bring the fulfillment. There is no one proven way in raising a child that will guarantee their success. If there was, please believe that whatever forms the info came in, whether book, DVD, or lecture, it would be sold out on a continuous basis.

You can be a straight laced, bible toter or a laid back “I want my child to be my friend” type of parent and the outcome is still unknown. All we can do as mothers is raise our children with love and pray that when they are coming into adult hood, we have given them enough compassion and understanding of how the world works, that they will make the right decisions. And if not, that’s okay, because we will still be there to help guide them along the way. We just have to remember that there is a fine line between guidance and total take over.

So to every mother who has had their bumps in the road and mountains to climb, stay in a positive mind and take it all in stride. 

Cooking with the Kids- Icebox Cake

My new favorite website/ social networking site/ addiction right now is Pinterest. There are so many fun and creative things to do on there. My favorite boards are the DIY/Crafts, Food & Drink, Home Decor and Kids. It's funny that a few months ago I didn't even know what the heck the website was, but now I'm pinning and actually trying the food and activities that I repin.

So, one of the things I did a couple of weeks ago was, I made a Strawberry Ice Box Cake with my kids. The original post came from So How's It Taste website and the pic to follow is from there as well. After I cut up the strawberries I put my son on strawberry duty, my daughter on graham cracker duty and I did the whipped topping and chocolate topping. Not only did it taste great, but my kids had fun too.

Do you have any recipes you make with your kids?

   

No-Bake Strawberry Icebox Cake

adapted from The Kitchn
makes 12 servings

ingredients:

3 lbs. fresh strawberries, sliced
2 (8 oz.) tubs fat-free whipped topping (or use regular or light)
1 (14.4 oz.) box graham crackers
1/4 cup milk chocolate chip morsels

directions:

1. Spread a small amount of whipped topping on the bottom of a 9x13-inch baking pan. Place 5 graham cracker sheets down the middle and break 2 more sheets into crackers to fit down the sides. Lightly cover the top of the graham crackers with more whipped topping and then a layer of sliced strawberries. Repeat three times, until you have four layers of graham crackers (you may be a few crackers short on the top layer, but that's ok). You'll end with a layer of strawberries on top.

2. Place milk chocolate chip morsels in a plastic bag. Microwave in 10 second intervals until melted. Snip the end of the plastic bag and drizzle chocolate over top of cake.

3. Refrigerate covered for at least four hours, or until the crackers have softened completely. Cake will last well for two days. It will still be good on the third day, but the strawberries will start to get juicy and leak into the whipped topping. It will still taste good, but it won't be as pretty.

Is is August already?

Is it just me or is this summer going by way too fast? So I know it's been awhile since my last post, but I have a good excuse...I'm crazy busy. Not that I'm complaining or anything. This is, after all, what I wanted. I said that I would be Super Mom, that I could do all things thru He who strengthens me.

But, I have to be honest. Some days, I ask myself if I should give up on my beauty business and just work my 9-5 and be happy. But, I know me and I would never be content with that. So while I often wake up asking "what the day is?" because I am juggling a husband, 2 kids, a 9-5 job, my business and 4 other projects I got going on, I honestly wouldn't trade it for the world.

During the day I am constantly moving and the cranks in my brain are on super speed thinking about the next project, but when night comes, I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

That being said, I'm going to try my best to keep this blog more up to date. My kids are such a big part of my life that I spend more time enjoying the moments rather than recording them. It is my mission to have a good balance of both.

Loving those BADD Kids,
Rhonda

Also, I want to start featuring mothers on the blog every month. Details to come.

A Mother's Day Reflection



I was 24 when I had my first child. It was two years almost to the day from graduating from college and I had not yet found that "dream job" I had been hoping for. But, the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I was being called for a greater purpose.

It didn't come easy because I had a more than difficult pregnancy and a traumatic delivery, but once I held my son in my arms, all that didn't matter anymore. Then, during a moment of amnesia I suppose, I turned around and went through the whole ordeal again 2 years later.

I like to contribute my growth as a person to being a mother. I have always been responsible and a mother like figure, but when I became a mother I realized that it wasn't about me anymore. Everything I did from that point on was going to effect my children in some form or fashion so I had to change my point of view.

Through these nearly 7 years of motherhood, I have learned a lot about myself and sometimes when it gets overwhelming I reflect back on the things I know will help me along the way. Here are a few of my favorite quotes about motherhood that reign true in my life.

                   "Everything good about me, came from my mom. If I can be half the mother that she
                    is, I will consider Motherhood a success..."    -Unknown

                    "The greatest thing she'd learned over the years is that there's no way to be a perfect
                     mother, but a million ways to be a good one."    -Unknown

                     "The best part of being a mom is when I see my kids genuinely happy about
                     everything."   -Unknown

                     "Being a mother is the hardest job on earth."   -Oprah

                     "You know you're a mother when the smallest whimper from your child can wake you
                      from a deep sleep."      -Linda Poindexter



One of the things that I have figured out about myself since becoming a mom is that I have an exceptional amount of emotional strength and my faith is beyond my own comprehension. Of course, I learned from the best. Everything I know about motherly love came from my own Mama and Grandma.

So to them and every mother out there I say keep up the good work. Happy Mother's Day!

Pretend play is no joke sometimes

Source

While I was braiding my hair this past week-end, my kids were at liberty to do pretty much whatever they wanted. Mommy can we watch a movie? Yes. Mommy can we play with playdoh? Yes. Mommy I'm pretending that I'm having a baby. Say what, now?! That last one kind of had me shook. It was coming from my 3 year old.

I had been listening to my daughter as she told my son, "I need to go to the hospital", and he in turn jumped in the recliner and pretended to speed though the streets, and burn rubber at every turn. But, what I was not prepared for was my daughter pretending to get out of a car, wobbling and holding her belly. I asked her what they were doing and that's when the statement that stopped me in my tracks came along.

Of course, I can laugh about it now, ( which I have several times with my mama and grandma who nearly laughed to tears), but at the time it was not funny. I'm thinking, what in the heck has she been watching when I'm not at home? See, I told my husband that Family Guy was soooo not appropriate for them.

Anyway, I told my husband about it and he said that something like that happened on a Nickelodeon show the other day. Why Nickelodeon, why? I guess I can't blame them that my children (like most) absorb and repeat everything they hear. For now, I'm going to chop it up to the fact that they will someday be wonderful actors. (Big sigh)

Signed,
The B.A.D.D. Kids' Mom