We have family meetings in my house. Usually only once a month just to go over the social calendar for my kids (I don't have much of a social life outside of work and church/choir), to make sure everybody is on the same page and give the kids an opportunity to have the floor and our undivided attention.
But, every now and then I have to call a meeting when things are out of control (at least for me). When clothes and toys are all over the floor, homework isn't being done, library books are overdue, etc, I have to call a meeting to get my troops back in line. I made it known to them that if I ask them to do something and they don't, there will be consequences. I'm not one of those mothers who just threatens either, I back mine up. My son just got his tablet back after not having it the entire summer.
Not only that, but I have to remind my husband that I can't be everywhere at once. You ever ask someone to remind you to do something and they don't and then you have to fuss at them for not remembering to remind you. Yeah, that happens in our house a lot. Threatening a grown man didn't work cause he just gave me side eye. So at our last meeting I decided to be more creative with him.
My husband says that he wants to help take some of the pressure and stress off of me, but it doesn't always work because while I was willing to give him half or part of the responsibility by having him remind me, the control freak in me wasn't willing to let it go completely. So in an effort to let some things go I decided to put these 5 words into my vocabulary: "I'm making it your responsibility."
What that means for me is that I am giving it to him to take care of from start to finish. I am not checking behind him to see if it was done (well, maybe once) and I am freeing myself from the guilt of not being supermom. I make sure that I look him squarely in the eyes, recite my 5 magical words and wait for a response from him, whether it be a laugh, shoulder shrug, eye roll or simple "yes". When I know he has received his challenge I let it go. I don't know if he had been fooling me all this time with his convenient memory loss or he just wants to prove himself, but it has been working so far. Either that, or I've freed myself from it so much that I don't remember what the heck I asked him to do. In any case, there have not been any catastrophes so we're good.
Ok, moms and wives, I challenge you to relinquish some of the control. Start handing out some of the responsibility and tell me how you feel!
Forever loving my BADD Kids,
Rhonda
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